News from sex and intimacy coach Xanet Pailet

  Because love should be hot, not your credit card statement. ...But here’s the truth: intimacy doesn’t need a fancy hotel or a pricey dinner. What it needs is attention, intention, and just a dash of mischief. That’s where these budget-friendly romantic date night ideas come in. Perfect for a cozy night in—or as inspiration between sessions at a sexual retreat or couples intimacy retreat—these spicy suggestions will help you...

Hello, beautiful human — When was the last time you truly listened to your body—not just a quick check-in, but a full, curious tuning-in? In a world where our minds run the show and our calendars are packed, it’s easy to drift away from our body’s natural wisdom. That’s why now is the perfect time to awaken your body and reclaim the deep connection that already lives within you. That’s...

Let’s be real—life has been a lot lately. Between work stress, world events, and the endless to-do lists, it’s easy for your relationship to take a backseat. But here’s the thing—your relationship is your foundation. It’s the one thing you can control when everything else feels uncertain. And when your connection is strong, you can handle anything life throws your way—together. That’s why I’m inviting you and your partner to...

I just returned from facilitating my latest Couples Passion in Paradise intimacy retreat on the lush, untouched island of Dominica—and I’m still in awe. There’s something sacred that happens when couples step away from the noise of daily life and immerse themselves in nature, intention, and deep emotional presence. It creates space not just for relaxation—but for real, lasting transformation. When the retreat began, I noticed it right away. The...

In The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, Dr. Gary Chapman introduced the idea that we each have a unique emotional dialect through which we give and receive love. Love is the thread that weaves intimacy, trust, and emotional safety into a relationship. But if you’ve ever felt like you and your partner were missing each other despite good intentions, it might be because you’re expressing love...

How do we begin to heal the emotional wounds that stem from childhood experiences and past relationships? It’s a question I ask often in my work with couples and individuals—and the answer is rarely straightforward. These wounds are not just about what happened to us; they’re about how those moments shaped the way we give and receive love today. When two people come together in a relationship, they aren’t just...

Life stress can quietly sneak into your relationship and hijack the connection you once shared. This happens between deadlines, dishes, demanding schedules, and daily mental overload. Let’s be real—modern life doesn’t exactly roll out the red carpet for romance. What once felt playful, passionate, and effortless now feels like... one more thing on the to-do list. Sound familiar? You’re not alone. Chronic life stress is one of the biggest, most...

                        In a recent New York Times article, "Sexuality and the Gen X Women", the veil is lifted on a truth many of us have known quietly, intimately, for years: Midlife isn’t the end of our sexual story—it’s the beginning of a bold new chapter. For Gen X women, our 40s and 50s are not about fading desires or...

Vulnerability. Just like the word "intimacy", saying the word "vulnerability" can make your chest tighten. To be vulnerable means to show the parts of yourself you usually keep hidden—the tender pieces, the unpolished truths, the feelings you’re afraid might be “too much” for someone else to handle. And yet, it is in this kind of intimacy and vulnerability that real love begins. In my work, I often talk about a...

One of the best ways to preserve intimacy in a long term relationship is to make sure it’s on the calendar. This makes it a priority for both of you and helps you carve out the necessary time to connect. In this video, learn more about why putting an intimacy date on the calendar is important and how to make it sexy and fun.